They Don't Just Come Out At Night
by Voldemort Perfumes
Summary: They're spies. What are they after? Kickin some vamp ass, that's what! When more killings spring up, Alice, Edward, and Emmett know they have to do something. They're three people on a mission, and they might just find something truly unexpected: love.
1. Chapter One

**"They Don't Just Come Out At Night"**

**Chapter One: Join the Club**

**"They may be plastic and fantastic, but add in a rusty thumbtack and they go bye-bye real fast."**

* * *

I love my job.

What do I do, you may ask? Well, I'm a spy, naturally! It's perfect for me. I get to travel, kick ass, and perform amazing escape stunts. So what if it feeds my thrill-junkie obsession? At least I'm doing it for a cause.

Anyway, one thing I hate about it is the long hours. Like coming in at five am for one thing, and having the first thing I hear be a recording.

"Name?"

"Jemma Eve Arlington," I repeated dutifully, just ready to for the stupid voice recognition to do its thing already so I could enter Headquarters. I was a woman who seriously needed her tea in the mornings, and it had better not make me wait too long, or I swear I'd re-route all its circuits in the middle of the night.

"Incorrect," the automaton woman informed me. I raised an eyebrow. Seriously?

I walked over to the intercom panel next to the door, and pressed the 'Talk' button. "Why isn't it letting me in, Teddy?" I asked, hoping that he wasn't feeling up to annoying me this fine morning, and would actually answer the question. I _knew_ he was in already; he'd left our apartment an hour ago at least without me, claiming I took too long 'putting on my war paint' as he called it.

"I thought we agreed it was Grizzly. Grizzly is so much more tough sounding," a masculine voice whined back at me. I tried very hard not to roll my eyes.

"I like Teddy better. Now just tell me why it isn't letting me through."

"Fine. You just use your actual name, not the code one. I changed it."

"Okay. I'll try that, thanks."

"Love you too, babe."

So, attempting this once more, I walked back to the scanner, and it repeated, "Name?"

"Mary Alice Brandon."

"Incorrect."

"Alice Brandon?"

"Incorrect."

Oh _no_ he did not just do that to me! Furious now, I walked back over to the damn intercom, and nearly jabbed the button out of the socket. "Emmett!"

"I love it when you yell my name."

"Don't play with me."

"You seemed to like it last night."

"Argh!" I fumed incoherently. "How do I get in? I need caffeine before I can function properly!"

"Okay, okay, so I changed your code name. It is now: Jemma Eve Mulberry," he said, and I could hear the faint traces of laughter in his voice, the bastard.

"I cannot believe you changed it to _that_, Emmett. Seriously, that's awful even for you."

"I have a sense of humor baby, you should've known that when you followed me home a year ago."

"But seriously, freakin' Mulberry? What were you thinking? Nobody is supposed to know that unless I let them see!"

"It's just a damn berry, and a colour. I'm sure that only you and I get the actual meaning. Call it our inside joke with each other if it makes you feel better," Emmett said, clearly not concerned with this as I was. But then again, I wasn't surprised. I'm sure to him, giving your girlfriend a code name in which the colour of her nipples is listed is just peachy-keen for him....

"As soon as I get in there, and have my tea..." I added as an afterthought, "I'm so going to kick your ass."

He at least had the sense not to say anything back, thank god. Shaking my head, I went back to the voice recognition scanner, and waited for it to say in its mechanical voice for me to say my name. Sure enough it did, and this time I gave it the answer _he_ wanted. "Jemma Eve Mulberry," I said unhappily. The steel door slid open.

I walked inside, throwing my coat on a hanger and transferring it to the hall closet. Oh yes, we have a hall closet. It boggles even my mind that a spy organization would have one, but there you are. I can't say it doesn't come in handy though. Based in an undisclosed location in the Pacific Northwest, you almost always have to bring a coat, and just holding it in the debriefing room does feel a trifle awkward, thus the closet. C'est la vie, I guess.

Anyways, I headed straight for the break room, where I found Edward having his cup of black coffee as per usual. I greeted him casually and fixed my tea, no sugar, no milk, and most definitely no lemon. He had his black coffee, I had my black tea. Everyone was caffeinated. Oh, happy I mean, everyone was happy. Silly me.

"So Alice, how's it going?"

"Oh, splendid. Emmett decided he ought to change my code name. To the last name of 'Mulberry'."

"Oh," Edward remarked, realization dawning in his eyes. The man was so astute that sometimes I swore he read minds, and by the looks of it, the meaning of the name change wasn't lost on him. Lovely...I thought sarcastically. Now he knows too. Perfect. I knew him reading too many of those older, 'classical' books was a bad idea. Their so-called abstinent language wasn't really all that abstinent in description.

"Go ahead and ask Edward," I sighed boredly. "You know you're dying to know."

"Well, are they?"

"Yes, they're mulberry."

"Oh...that's nice."

Trust Edward to learn something about a part or parts of my body he doesn't need to know, and then go "Oh...that's nice." He's such a great guy, unlike a certain annoying live-in boyfriend...huh; wonder who that could possibly be? Built like the Hulk, likes to joke around, change people's codenames unexpectedly....

"Emmett's in the doghouse now isn't he?" Edward guessed, correctly I may add.

"Oh yes," I said emphatically, sipping my tea. "For an indefinite amount of time."

"Or until he buys you something _really_ nice?" Right-o again, Psychic!Edward. And I mean, I thought only I had an uncanny ability to predict stuff! Guess I'm not alone in this world. However, to answer his question, I settled for nodding my head. I knew it'd suit him just fine.

"Oh my child...and beautiful, feisty girlfriend, I'll need to see you in the debriefing room pronto," Emmett's voice carried over the intercom.

"Jesus Emmett, I had _no_ idea you were cheating on me with Edward! And he's _feisty_? Damn," I shot back, loving both the _look_ on Edward's face and the silence stemming from the intercom when I said that. Aha, Alice: 1, Emmett: 0.

"Just get your pretty little ass in here, oh and your rather despicable one, Edward."

"You know you want him," I teased as Edward scowled at me from across the table. I had my tea cup up to my mouth in record time. "Yum, this tea is spectacular!" I said. Edward continued his scowling campaign.

"It's instant, and Lipton. You hate Lipton," he said darkly as he stood up to leave.

"Well wait for me, Sweetheart, since you're being so nice to me this morning," I teased. Edward left anyway. I took my sweet time sipping my tea, and _then_ got up to head for the debriefing room. It was only just down the hall and a floor below, in what I liked to call the 'Dungeon.'

When I got there, Emmett and Edward were milling about around the steel table, looking down at a body bag. Well there went my happy, carefree morning, I thought dismally. Houston, we have an autopsy waiting to happen.... But anyway, being the good spy I was, I just sidled up to my coworkers and looked around for them to explain, maybe tell me who was in the bag...something along those lines. Unless the corpse was unidentifiable, which was always a possibility in our line of work.

"We're just waitin' on the Good Doc to join us. He'll fill us in on what he knows about the poor schmuck," Emmett explained, nodding towards the body bag on the table. I nodded to show I understood.

A few minutes later, Carlisle thought it fit to finally join us. As always, his hair was freshly combed. I had only just figured out why it always seemed to look that way. Truth was, the man always has _crazy_ sex hair from hooking up with our head nurse, Esme. And how did I find this out? The traditional way of course. I walked in on them going at each other in one of the examination chairs. Boy was that one awkward check-up! I spent the whole time wondering how they maneuvered that, with her leg there and his...oh never mind.

You see, one thing you have to know about Carlisle, is that he's ridiculously good-looking. No, I take that back. All the men that work with me are, but what can I say? I kind of have a thing for blondes. Which I guess doesn't really explain my current boyfriend, but well...he's got his talents. Another thing is, as much as I adore blondes, I can be incredibly picky when it comes to men with that hair colour. They have points already for being blonde, but their hair has to go with them, if that makes any sense whatsoever.

And Carlisle, oddly enough, doesn't quite do it for me. He kind of gives off that fatherly vibe, which is weird in several ways. For one it squashes any fantasies, and number two, it is a little odd because he's only like a few years older than me, Emmett, and Edward anyway. Esme however, _does_ have three years on him. Guess she's a cougar then, technically. She was making some pretty cat-like sounds when I walked in on them that one time, so maybe she is. How am I to really know? I'm a poor unwilling voyeur who picked the wrong day to walk in and see them trying out something I'm sure was medically impossible, but apparently it's do-able. Literally.

"So Doc, what do we have here?" my dearest beau inquired abruptly, as is his style.

"A victim. Otherwise fine except for a few silver, crescent-shaped scars and the fact that he's completely drained of all the blood in his body."

Wow. How warm-and-fuzzy. Thanks for that Carlisle. Drained of all blood in the body. Vampires, maybe? Ha, those don't exist. It's just the new preferred assassination method of the KGB or something similar. Or it must be. Because I really don't see how Carlisle expects us to believe vampires exist. Yeah the fuck right.

"So we're looking for an undead bloodsucking demon, a.k.a. a vampire?"

Trust Emmett not to realize that vampires don't exist outside of media and literature. I sure picked a winner didn't I?

"I think so. There's really no evidence that suggests any other method of removing the blood. And trust me, there isn't a single drop left. I tried to find some, but there was none left to be found," Carlisle added solemnly.

"A vampire?" Edward asked skeptically. "Carlisle, those don't..."

"Exist? That's what I thought too before I saw this case. Like I've stated, there really is no alternative method that seemed to be used to remove the blood. And what would they want all the blood gone for anyway? Destroying fingerprints and dental records to make identification impossible I can understand, but blood?"

"Maybe they're freaks," I suggested. "People have weird fetishes even when they kill. Maybe whoever's doing this likes blood or something."

"That's possible," Carlisle conceded. "But still, how'd they remove it?"

"Syringes?"

"Even then they'd probably still miss some of it. The corpse is bone-dry."

"Well, then I have no idea."

"We could ask Angela to do some research. But vampires don't really exist. They just don't. There's lunatics who _think_ they're vampires, but they're just deranged, so they have their own group therapy," Emmett chimed in. I frowned. Mental health was a really touchy subject with me, seeing as how my parents sent me to a 'hospital' for several years because I had 'hallucinations'.

Truthfully, I was just seeing the future, and it didn't happen _that_ often. I never did understand why they couldn't have just let it go. But I guess it worked out in the end because Baldwin, our old boss had pulled me out as soon as I hit eighteen, and trained me up to join the organization. Now it was five years later, I was twenty-three, and a damn good spy, if I do say so myself. My visions only help me do my job.

"Weirder things have happened than there being vampires in the world," Carlisle said unhelpfully, shrugging.

"I guess so," Edward agreed. "It's just so hard to believe."

"Now the important question: how do we kill them, where are they hiding, are these killings purely for food, or something else?"

"Wow Emmett, you actually sound like you're thinking this through," I commended him.

"That's why I'm the boss and you and Prettyboy here are the ones who go out there and be superb little killing robots."

I snorted rather abruptly.

"Are you questioning my authority, Miss Mulberry?" he joked.

"Nope. Never crossed my mind, _Teddy_."

His fists clenched out of habit at the nickname. Well that, and the fact that I'd once let it slip that if I ever got a dog, I'd name it Teddy. Apparently me calling him the same name as a hypothetical pet really screwed over his male ego. Strange, the inner workings of the male psyche....

"Mulberry?" Carlisle asked, intrigued.

"Yes Carlisle, they _are_ mulberry," I sighed dejectedly.

"Oh...that's nice."

You're effing kidding me, right?

"Anyway," Carlisle continued, stage-coughing to hide his embarrassment at being the newest inductee into the What-Colour-Are-Alice's-Nipples-Club. "I'd say the best way to find out the answers to those questions is to try and capture one."

"That sounds reasonable," Edward agreed with him, like they did on most subjects, except the exhaustingly-studious Heaven versus Hell debate.

"How do you propose they do that, Doc? Put nails in its coffin and have it Fed-Exed back here?" Emmett seriously wanted to know. I knew for certain that put in the situation, that's what _he'd_ do, never mind that I doubted Fed-Ex made deliveries to our super-secret Headquarters location. Though I have to take into account, he does forget the little things. I suppose I should be surprised he remembers me, since to my eternal regret, I only stand about four-eleven height-wise. And he's way up there height-wise...like _way_ up there.

But at least I can wear heels, and _that_ makes me a very happy short woman indeed.

"Not exactly," Carlisle tells him. "I wasn't sure how exactly, but I don't think they must use coffins, since when I did the autopsy, the estimated time of death was shortly after noon. So clearly, they do come out during the day."

"Well that's just wonderful. Now we can't just take 'em out when they're having a nice coffin snooze," Emmett complained.

"Precisely. We'll have to be sneakier," Edward reminded him. "I'll see what Tech can cook up to help us," he announced before departing.

"I'm going to go put this one back in the morgue, unless you want a peek," Carlisle inquired, gesturing at the still-unopened body bag on the table. Emmett and I both shook our heads rather fervently. The good doctor smiled knowingly and rolled the table out the other door.

"So...vampires huh?"

"No at-work nooky," I headed him off, heading out the opposite door, the one Edward had left through only a moment ago.

"How'd you know I was going to ask?"

"Psychic, Emmett, but then again, that one didn't require any extra abilities to figure out."

"Aww, Alice baby, you know I was only joking when I changed your codename."

"I do know that, but I'm still upset. And thanks to that, two other people now know something I'd rather they not know about me and my body."

We were walking down the hall by now, him easily catching up to me thanks to his freakishly long legs. I was hoping to talk to Angela, she was always so nice to me, and maybe she and the rest of the Techs could figure how in the world Edward and I were supposed to snare a member of the undead. Because I doubted it'd be as easy as pie. From the horror movies I'd seen over the years, most vampires seemed to possess several things: speed, strength, bloodlust, and an overbite.

All a primo recipe for Alice-and-Edward mincemeat pie, if you thought about it.

"You're not that shy," Emmett scoffed.

"Well duh, my charming Romeo, but still I'd rather not have them know the colour of my nipples for Pete's sake!"

We walked in silence the rest of the way to the Technology sector. For our techs we had three very bright people: Angela Weber, who handled most of the research, Eric Yorkie, and Tyler Crowley. Tyler and Eric were usually the two who made us our useful array of gadgets, but sometimes Angela supervised.

As we entered, some strange techno music was playing, and Edward had a look on his face that suggested that his ears were somehow bleeding. It would have been funny if I too was not all that fond of the music. Emmett however, seemed to get into it by the way he subtly moved his hands at his sides, looking like he was just itchin to break out into dance. Well domi arigato, Mr. Roboto. Or however you say it.

"Hi Alice!" Eric greeted me breathlessly.

Eric was always so happy to see me, it was blatantly obvious he had a thing for me. I kind of felt bad for him harboring such a huge, unrequited crush on me, but it could hardly be my fault. It's not like I was leading him on or anything....

"Hello Eric." See? Perfectly friendly, but not any more than that.

Emmett raised an eyebrow, and I'm sure he was finding this all very funny. No jealous boyfriend reaction, he just thinks this is funny. How typical of him.

"They're mulberry Eric," he said _just_ to piss me off, I'm sure. Just because I wasn't going to mount and ride him on his shiny, new mahogany desk does not justify this action of his though. Emmett really gets under my skin sometimes, and not always in a good way.

I scowled spectacularly at my boyfriend. "Why don't you tell the whole freaking world Emmett? Jesus!" I screeched, hitting his shoulder as it was as high as I could reach.

"What's mulberry?" the poor kid asked. Edward shook his head, indicating that to be silent was to live. Edward knew me only too well.

"So we need vampire-capturing gear," Edward said to break up my glaring-fest aimed at a particular someone.

"Vampire capturing?" Tyler inquired, a doubtful look on his face.

"Yeah. It appears they're actually not fictional, and they've started making killings. So we need to catch and question one. Then try and figure out how to kill it."

"Ohhhkaayy," Angela said, the word drawn-out. "So, any time limit on that one?"

"A.S.A.P," Edward clarified. "So the bodies don't start piling up too noticeably. If the public got wind of this, they'd freak out. It'd be total chaos."

"We'll do our very best," Eric said, looking at me pointedly. I took a step back.

Okay, that is just creepy, borderline stalker. Now I know why I'm dating Emmett, and not him.

"Emmett, I think you said something about taking me shopping?"

"Shopping? When did I agree to that?" he asked, until he saw my face. "Oh right."

"Good boy," I said teasingly. "If you're really good, I might even let you rub my feet afterwards!"

"Joy," he remarked dryly.

And that folks, is a well-trained man.

* * *

**Author's Note: Just to clarify, they're all human so far. And I'm sure you're wondering, well where the heck are Rosalie, Bella, and Jasper at? Answer: They'll be coming up later in the story, trust me. In a good way. And this story is in Alice's POV. Let me know if you have any other questions, I'd be happy to answer them unless they're fishing for big spoilers. I'm sure you can understand that one at the very least. Oh and the quotes that go under the chapter title are just little jokes that may or may not have to do with the chapter, but usually they do. And yes, I make up the jokes. **

**Basically all I now ask is REVIEW, review, review! Frankly it pisses me off when you don't. And if you want updates, then you ought to have some consideration for the author. So even just a one-liner will suffice. Thanks for listenin'.**


	2. Chapter Two

**"They Don't Just Come Out At Night"**

**Chapter Two: What In The Name of Coco Chanel Was That?**

**"Everyone's got their own bag o' tricks, mine's just a lot bigger than yours."**

* * *

Two hours later I was content in the place I truly liked to spend time in: the mall. Emmett had dropped me off with his credit card, and then gone home. That was his idea of shopping with me. It wasn't exactly ideal, but I'd take it. It would be nice to have someone to go with though, but I knew that with him, that was never gonna happen. He wasn't much of the shopping type, sadly. And neither was Edward, so that pretty much left me no options unless Angela wasn't busy. Is it sad that I only have three people that I'm close to?

I guess that's a good thing, me being a spy and all, but still it makes me kind of lonely when I think about it. I'd really like a best friend, well, a girl best friend; I have Edward for a male one. I'd even settle for a shopping buddy, seriously. That would complete me.

Anyways, I was here, and ready to indulge myself, courtesy of my boyfriend and his rather sizeable credit limit. And he hardly even complained, knowing how I get when I go shopping. I figure he must really want in my pants again badly if he's willing to give me free rein. But I can delude myself with whatever reasoning I want, all I know is I have a credit card and know how to use it!

I decide to start off with one of my favourite things: shoe shopping. A girl really can never have too many pairs of heels or handbags, that's my reasoning. You need something that goes with any outfit you can cook up, and I have a very vivid imagination. I could probably spend hours in a shoe store and be perfectly content, so I do.

Another two-and-a-half hours later, I've got some killer heeled boots (which'll come in handy on the job and make me look très chic); three pairs of patent leather kitten heels in hues of bright blue, yellow, and red; some pastel-coloured ballet flats for when I'm feeling lazy; and with the greatest regret I also picked up a pair of running shoes that were grey and yellow. I supposed that if I was going to outrun a vampire, I might as well have the right shoes for the task.

Already I could feel the effects of the retail therapy working its magic. I wasn't even concerned about this new task. I could take a vampire, couldn't I?

With these happy thoughts in mind, I moved on to scout out a dress to wear on me and Emmett's anniversary, one-year, to be precise. I guess maybe then I'd let him get a little action, but tonight, hell no. I still cannot believe his stupid name-changing scheme. I mean, I have to introduce myself in a professional setting as that! Okay, so maybe a professional assasination and/or reconnaissance setting, but still, nobody will take me seriously even when I have my Magnum waving in their face!

Hmm, what colour dress though?

I'm kind of a yellow kick at the moment, so let's go with that. So I then thumbed through the racks, looking for anything cute, yellow, and my size. I ended up with three candidates that I took to the dressing room. The first was empire-waisted, and the skirt was undecorated. It was a very simple gown, and it somewhat reminded me of the clichéd banana-yellow raincoats that everyone harbors fantasies of wearing in Paris. Why? I have no idea. That's just what came to mind when I put the dress on.

The second was supposedly a mini-dress though on me it was a "decent" length. It was fashioned of slinky, silk-like material and had a square neck around which was yellow and white embroidery and beading. I decided to keep it in mind at least until I tried on the third dress. It actually looked kinda good on me, so I wasn't going to rule it out.

Lastly, the third was satin, very short, and tight. I looked like a hussy. Definitely not. The second dress it is.

I discarded the other two and quickly paid for my dress, wondering what I'd like to do next. Shoes, check, dress check...hmm I think I'll just look around and see if anything particularly strikes me. And maybe get something to drink while I'm at it. Shopping really makes me thirsty.

For a period I window-shopped, and then I decided to check out some of the little stands in the middle of the mall to see if there was anything worth getting. My first stop was at a makeshift cosmetics counter that promised "natural" make-up. We'll see, I thought to myself. The poor employee that had to man the place, a middle-aged woman named Amie, looked so happy to see someone who actually wanted to know something about her product that I felt pretty good myself for giving her that boost. Let's call it my good deed of the day.

Amie very exuberantly explained about the make-up, and its mineral composition. I nodded and smiled through that particular bit, until she reached a pause in her speech. "But more importantly, Amie, how does it look? What would you suggest for say, me?"

"Well, just something light. You look fine without a lot of make-up, so I'd say we try some eyeshadow for starters, maybe...this colour?" she suggested, holding up a light, earthy-toned brown colour. I nodded my approval.

"That's a pretty one, definitely."

Next she showed me a silver-coloured one. That one I liked too; it was shiny and I'd always preferred silver to gold besides. The process repeated, and by the time we were onto the fifth one, I was pretty well pleased with the make-up. However, I was waiting for her to bag up the ones I'd bought when I got a certain unpleasant feeling.

You know the one where you feel like someone's watching you?

Oh yes, that one. I hate that feeling. It literally renders you paranoid, trying to figure out where the supposed watcher is, only to find out that there usually isn't anyone watching you. Then it's frustrating because you were _so_ sure that there had been someone there. Of course, that moment turns into an unsolved mystery, and people tell you just to forget about it. It's just a funny feeling, right?

Wrong. I was ninety-nine-point-nine percent sure that someone was watching me. Now I just needed to see what they looked like. It could be someone from a past job, you never know. In my line of work, there's always the danger of getting followed on your off time. And if you ask me, I'd rather not have that happen. I'd also rather not whip out my trusty handgun, Sherry, in the middle of a crowded shopping mall, but if worst came to worst, I would do it.

Smiling vacantly at Amie, I took my bag and continued on down the line of mall kiosks, weaving in between each one hoping to lose whoever was tailing me. That would be my preference if I couldn't at least catch a glimpse of the culprit.

I felt like I was being hunted. Maybe I was. I just needed to be smart about this. Stay around lots of people, try and see who it is, and keep Sherry at hand at all times.

When you receive field training, at least at N.P.I (Northwest Private Investigations), they teach you to use absolutely anything at your disposal to deal with a situation. It's amazing what uses everyday items can be put to. And at one of the upcoming kiosks, I spied an opportunity.

It was a sunglasses "shack" and even though this was the Pacific Northwest, and we almost never have use for sunglasses except for the snow glare in winter, I could use the glasses to my advantage this time. So with my plan in mind, I sidled up to Bradley, the cashier there, and began making small talk as I pretended to really look for a good, quality pair of sunglasses. "Bet you don't get much business," I said, eyeing the rack for something I could use.

"Not really," Bradley said, smiling at me. I glanced momentarily at him, and spotted the tell-tale signs of roots that seriously needed to be touched up. He was a negligent fake blond, and it kind of saddened me, so I went back to the task at hand.

"So, were you looking for anything specific?" Bradley inquired, his expression suggesting he knew what I was looking for. I highly doubted that, and of course I was going to turn down the date offer he was about to extend to me in eleven point nine seconds; I had a boyfriend already. A big, scary-looking boyfriend who truly was a teddy bear inside. A boyfriend who was probably seated on the couch now with a bowl of popcorn, extra butter, watching Sportscenter and laughing his ass off at the commercials instead of shopping with me. That's love I guess....

"No."

"So, plans Friday?"

Possibly hunting down the undead and hoping to make it home in one piece? Or maybe I'll still be stuck here waiting on Eric Mc Creepy and Co. to figure out how Edward and I are supposed to go about the expedition in the first place. Or I can go see the newest horror movie, get felt up by a "protective" date pulling an "arm around the shoulder" move, and then top off the night by fucking like horny teenagers in the back of his riceburner car and be happy as a clam that I'm being responsible and am on birth control. Decisions, decisions.

"I have a boyfriend." I don't know what this Bradley was expecting; do not-quite-twenty-something people just randomly ask each other out like this? I'm not sure, but I am certain that it's a bad way to go. Whatever happened to attraction or compatibility?

"He isn't here now, shopping with you. What kind of boyfriend's that? Or are you just saying that because you don't want to admit how attracted to me you are?"

"One, Bradley: I am not attracted to you. Two: I really do have a boyfriend, and him not shopping with me has nothing to do with our relationship, and lastly, touch up your roots, I don't find fake blondes appealing at all," I finished with a flourish, simultaneously spotting a viable pair of glasses. I pulled them off the shelf. They were a normal, black lens, black frame pair with no decoration whatsoever, but that suited my purpose.

"I'll take these ones."

He very snobbishly took his time ringing me up, and once I paid, I was out of there in record time, leaving Bradley and his raccoon-patterned roots behind. I got a distance away, and then whipped out the sunglasses, still feeling that paranoid vibe loud and clear. Turning the glasses around so that the front of the lenses were facing me, I eyed the reflection in the glasses, and then positioned them so that I could use them like a mirror to see behind me.

I spotted a few women shopping with their daughters, but none looked particularly dangerous. Besides, my senses told me it was a man following me. They were usually the bad ones in my experience. So I checked every few steps, spotting a few men, but they all looked rather normal and passive.

And then I saw him. Or rather, caught a quick glimpse.

"Gotchya," I murmured quietly, surveying the man in question, my follower.

From what I saw, very light skin, light-coloured hair, and skinny. However, before I could examine him further, there was a pale blur, and he became no longer visible, as if he'd run off or something. Weird. Very weird indeed.

I stowed the sunglasses back into the bag. He would probably just leave for now, I reminded myself. Maybe I should go home before he decides to resume tailing me. I'll tell Emmett what happened. Yep, that'll do it, I mused.

Instead of calling my beau to pick me up---I knew better than to interrupt "Play & Score Recap Time"---I called a taxi, and went to wait for it outside. I felt relatively safe as there were plenty of teens milling about to get picked up by their parents, or families heading back to their cars, hands full of bags.

As I was waiting, I watched absently as a little girl toddled over the flowerbeds off to the side of the front entrance. She knelt down at the flowerbed, and was playing with the blooms with a childish grin on her face. I couldn't help but smile with her. She was so cute....

Her parents were speaking with some other adults, not really keeping an eye on her. That didn't seem right, because she was so little, she could just wander off so easily...so I kept my gaze on her. She was still prodding at some of the flowers, in her own little world it seemed. At least she was having fun.

But something looked a little off. There was something protruding from the bushes, something that looked oddly like a foot without a shoe. Disturbed, I headed over there pronto, hoping the little girl wouldn't think to go behind the bushes to see what it was. Children deserved to retain their innocence as long as humanly possible.

When I got closer, the little girl beamed at me, and said "Hi."

"Hi, what's your name?" I asked quickly, setting down my bags on the sidewalk.

"Sasha," she replied, her brown eyes soft as she looked at me. "You're really pretty, lady."

"Thank you Sasha. Do you think you could do me a favour?" I asked gently.

"Yeah."

"Could you watch my bags and make sure no one takes them? I'd really appreciate it. I just have to check on something for a moment."

"Okay," Sasha agreed, skipping over to be closer to my bags. I smiled my thanks, and headed off. I rounded the clump of foliage until I found a thin gap in between bushes. Squeezing myself through, I had to place a hand over my mouth to keep quiet.

A body was hidden within the bushes, face-down and unmoving. Biting my lip slightly, I knelt down beside the man and felt for a pulse. He had none, naturally. Sighing now, I pulled my mobile out of the pocket of my jacket, and hit speed dial number three. I waited somewhat impatiently as I waited for the call to go through to the menu.

"Hello, this is the number of Northwest Communications International. If you already know the extension of your party, please enter it now. If not, press '0' to speak to a representative."

Northwest Communications International was our front, and the only information you'd get by talking to a 'representative' was what we'd come up with to fool you. The representative was usually whoever was on duty at the time, and the line you fed anyone who inquired was pretty much the same each time. If the same person kept calling, then you might suggest that N.C.I was going out of business, or something similar. Regardless, we didn't get a lot of outside calls.

I dialed extension #4329.

"Cullen speaking," I was answered after a few second's pause. He sounded out of breath, but I wasn't about to ask why that was. Cougar, cougar, cougar...my mind repeated in spite of this.

"Carlisle, we have a situation," I informed him. "We have a body at the Westfield mall. I was shopping here and came across it. If we hurry, we can pick it up before someone else finds it and calls the local fuzz. They'll take it in, and it'll have my fingerprints on it, since I felt for a pulse."

He sighed deeply. "Where exactly on the grounds is it located?"

I quickly estimated. "About twenty feet west of the front entrance, in the bushes. No one's seemed to notice but me so far, but I'd rather not take chances. How soon can you get someone out here to pick it up, and me so I can give a statement?"

"I'd say tops, twenty minutes. I'll tell them to take the usual shortcuts."

"Thanks Carlisle."

I hung up and returned out to the main sidewalk, not wanting to be gone _too_ long in case any of the people around were wondering where I'd gone. Sasha was waiting by her bags with her mother.

"See Miss, I watched them for you."

"Thanks Sasha, I really appreciate that. Ma'am, you have a very nice little girl to help me out like that," I informed her mother, who nodded and tried to grab a hold of her daughter's hand to pull her out to the parking lot. I'm sure she thought there was something weird about me, talkign to children I don't know. People were paranoid like that these days, and I guess for good reason with all the nasty people there are in the world. Little Sasha was just doin' me a favour though, whether her mama knew it or not.

As I waited for Carlisle to get me some back-up, I decided I might as well call Emmett. As "boss" he'd want to know about this A.S.A.P., and as my boyfriend, he'd wonder why I wouldn't be home earlier. I pulled my phone back out, hitting the first speed dial this time.

"Hello?" his voice answered on the second ring.

"Hey Emmett. I thought you'd want to know about..." then I launched into my description of the incident, short as it was, and that I'd already called for backup. He listened with his "professional" patience, and at the end, he just had one thing to say.

"I'll meet you at Headquarters."

"Okay," I answered. That's what I'd thought he'd say, unsuprisingly.

By my watch, it took twenty-two-and-a-half minutes for back-up in the form of Edward and Liz, one of our medical staff, in a nondescript white van. I waved them down and they parked off to the side of the mall, where no one was hanging about, which made this all the more easier for us to execute. Showing them where the body was, I supervised as they rolled the corpse into a body bag, and transferred it into the back of the van. We tried to rush before anyone caught onto what we were doing, and I just knew someone at mall security was going to get paid off tonight to erase any footage of us there might be on the security tapes.

As soon as everything (corpse and all) was stowed away, I hopped up front in between the two, and we peeled out of there at the maximum speed, heading for the backwoods road that would lead us out to Headquarters. Edward was so focused on his driving that conversation was nonexistant, and well, Liz wasn't much of a chatterbox to begin with unless you got her yapping on about some complex medical procedure or Chomsky's Theory of Universal Grammar. The two didn't really fit together, but I wasn't going to ask about her mixed hobbies of medicine and linguistic anthropology. People like what they like, simple as that.

When we got back to HQ, Carlisle and Esme were waiting for us to unload the body and bring him around to the lab. There'd be an autopsy right away, and I'd have to say what I knew about the man and his untimely end.

Edward, a newly-arrived Emmett, and I waited in the autopsy room while Carlisle did his thing, medically speaking. In the meantime, I let them know about the body.

"I just found it...there was one foot partially sticking out of the bushes, so I investigated. There was no pulse, he was dead, and so I just called. There were no other clues at the scene, I'm afraid. But there was something else. A man was tailing me in the mall, but I just barely got a glimpse of him. I've no idea if he killed the man here, or perhaps if the deceased was the one tailing me and a third person took him out for some reason.... Anything's possible really. From the look I got at him, he had lighter coloured hair, either blonde or brown, and was pale-skinned. Not a light tan, pale," I explained firmly.

"Okay, well that's something I suppose. If this poor dude wasn't the one tailing you, then we have a slight description to go on for the tail. It would help if we were sure. But honestly Alice, why would someone take out the person that was tailing you if he or she doesn't work for us?" Emmett asked.

"I don't know. I could have an anonymous best friend out there," I quipped sarcastically. "Or maybe it was the other way around, the tail killed this man. We can't be sure."

"We'll have to work it from both angles then. But we're still missing a motive here, both for the killing and the tailing," Edward pointed out. "Carlisle, have you got anything yet?"

"Yes," the doctor answered solemnly. "One silver, crescent-shaped scar just to the left of the jugular vein; no blood in the body. We've got another one on our hands. Estimated time of death was not quite two hours past. So while you were there, Alice. Unfortunately this seems to point towards our vampires theory, because any other elaborate removal method of the blood would take too long. So they _must_ exist."

"Great. I'll sure feel safe at night knowing that," Emmett scoffed. "Alice, do we have any garlic? Crosses? Holy Water? Wooden stake, perhaps?"

"Yeah, because I always try to include those on my weekly shopping lists," I shot back.

"Somehow I doubt those 'traditional' methods will work," Edward chimed in. "It can't be that...well not easy, but well-known, rather."

"There's something else you three might find interesting. The scars I mentioned, see the one here," Carlisle said, running his gloved hand along the corpse man's throat to where a large, silvery scar was seemingly carved into the skin. We examined it with mixed reactions. Emmett turned up his lip at it, Edward looked mildy shocked at the sheer size of the thing, and I...well I suppose this wasn't entirely right of me, but it kind of looked...neat? I mean it's not a good thing obviously, but the shape is distinctive and unique.

"If you would please put on one surgical glove, I'd like you to feel the scar please, and tell me what you notice about it," Carlisle instructed us, nodding towards the box of latex gloves on the counter in the corner. We each grabbed one and put it on our hand, and then took turns feeling the scar.

"Wow, it's really cold!" Emmett noticed when he went first.

"Cold?" Edward echoed, moving closer so that he could see if that was true or not. He touched it, and immediately removed his hand. "Very cold."

I went last. I felt kind of weird about touching a dead body, so I guess it's a good thing I never fancied being a doctor. I ran my index finger over the raised ridge, and all along the scar, the skin was freezing, like touching an icesickle with no gloves on. I removed my finger as soon as Edward had done, not wanting to get frostbite on my trigger finger.

"So what does all that mean, exactly?" Edward inquired.

"I'm not completely sure mind you, but it could mean that these vampires are cold in some way. Maybe they have a lower body temperature. It would make sense. With them being dead, their blood wouldn't be circulating, so I could see them as being cold. It's plausible," Carlisle answered.

"I guess so," Emmett murmured. "But so what would defeat these cold things? Fire?"

"Possibly," Edward said. "Kind of like melting ice."

"Except the hunk of ice happens to have once been human," I reminded them.

"Yeah, but you can still melt flesh if the flame is hot enough," Emmett chimed in enthusiastically.

"You've been watching too many horror films, Emmett," I said truthfully. I should know; I live with him.

"You can though," he insisted.

"I know, I was just making a point," I clarified.

"So maybe we should let Tech know about the cold, and see if they can do anything with the info," Edward hinted, interrupting us.

"Oh okay. I'll go," I sighed. "Later boys."

* * *

**Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews last chapter! This story is in Alice's POV. Let me know if you have any other questions, I'd be happy to answer them unless they're fishing for big spoilers. I'm sure you can understand that one at the very least. Oh and the quotes that go under the chapter title are just little jokes that may or may not have to do with the chapter, but usually they do. And yes, I make up the jokes. **

**Basically all I now ask is REVIEW, review, review! Frankly it pisses me off when you don't. And if you want updates, then you ought to have some consideration for the author. So even just a one-liner will suffice. Thanks for listenin'.**


	3. Chapter Three

**"They Don't Just Come Out At Night"**

**Chapter Three: So We're After Pale Human-Sickles?****.**

**"'Ice, ice, baby is only erotic after two or three ice, ice cold beers, baby..."**

* * *

"Cold, you say?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

The frenzied sound of clacking keys vied for the listener's attention as some strange folksy music sounded. Angela's face was narrowed in scholarly concentration as she entered a few keywords into the Dalai Lama of all search engines...Google.

I spun myself around in the ergonomically-correct office chair a few times as she hmmed-and-clacked her way to the answers we were seeking. The room seemed very blurry by the fourth spin, and the force of gravity seemed to be trying to tip me off the chair so that I'd fall face-first onto the concrete floor. That would not be good for my nose or my self-esteem.

So I attempted to steady myself, sticking out my foot to try and stop the spinning, but like when you're on a swing-set, the first time you put your feet down to brake, it doesn't quite work. You have to do it several times more until the swing---or in this case, desk chair---stops moving. Stupid, nefarious chair...and gravity.

When I finally found myself at a standstill, I felt a little wobbly even though I was sitting down. I vowed not to get distracted by spinning office chairs again. Of course though, I probably forgot that within ten seconds of making the promise. The chairs are just so tempting....

"I've got something," Angela informed me, gesturing at the blindingly white screen. I squinted at it for a minute, trying to decipher the bunched black font face. It said something about Quil...Quileute legend. Where was...?

"They live on the rez in La Push. The tribe, I mean. Apparently this is their lore. It features what they call "cold ones" that haunt the areas around them every so often. It also says though that these cold ones never seem to venture onto the tribe's land, but it doesn't specify the reason for that."

"Does it say anything on how to kill them, or at least any weaknesses we can exploit?" I inquired.

"Well it says their skin is as hard as marble..." I tried not to let that phase me or my currently in-the-gutter-mind, "So maybe if we used something strong enough to cut marble?" Angela finished, frowning slightly. She opened up another window on the browser, and Googled "how to cut marble."

"Hmm, it says silicon carbide blades can cut marble. Maybe we could make you guys some swords or daggers or something," she suggested. "Or can't they cut diamonds with lasers? I have an idea!" she exclaimed suddenly. "Oh my goodness! Eric, Tyler!"

"What's the idea?" I wanted to know.

"Well I was still thinking swords, but what if we could make a gun that shoots out bullets made from the silicon carbide? And maybe attach some sort of laser point to it, in case that's effective. I've seen it done before, the laser I mean, but that's not for cutting it's for accuracy in aiming!" Angela explained. "But we could probably alter that to use it as a weapon."

"I'm sure we could," Tyler chimed in. "A laser scope shouldn't be too hard to set up."

"How quickly do you think we could get something like that together?"

"Well we could get a prototype in maybe...a week? Then if it works out, we'll make more."

"All right," I agreed. "Let's try that. We've got nothing to lose after all."

"Okay so I was thinking we could start by..." Angela said, going over to the blueprint desk, pencil in hand. Tyler and Eric gathered around the table, and I decided it was best just to let them do their thing. Everyone should just stick to what they know, and invention was not one of my many skills, unfortunately.

* * *

"So, what'd they say?"

"Something about hard as marble, so then Angela got an idea about using something that cuts marble as a weapon...and yeah basically I think they're on to something," I answered, closing his office door behind me. Emmett was perched in his chair, leaning half-back in it with his feet on the desk.

"Hard as marble?"

"I knew you'd catch that," I teased, going over to stand beside him. "And yes, apparently vampires are."

"That's interesting," he remarked, wiggling his eyebrow suggestively. "I wonder if everything's always hard, if you catch my drift."

"I don't know...I might have to get one in the sack to test out that theory."

He frowned.

"Well maybe not. However, if ever you feel the need to try someone a bit warmer out, baby I'm here for you," he offered, his eyes glinting. I shook my head but smiled. He could be so childish sometimes, but it was oddly refreshing around our lives, with how serious we had to be to do our jobs right. If you goof off on a mission, you could get killed, point-blank.

Pun _intended_ completely.

"Hmm, I was thinking that maybe tomorrow we might have some fun," I replied, twisting one of his curls around my pinky finger. His grin broadened, and I could tell he was definitely imagining said thought of mine. Good. I'm glad, because maybe then he'll want to make it extra special. It is an important night after all.

"Why do we have to wait until then when we could break in my desk...baby?" he trailed off, winking towards the furniture piece in question. I was trying not to believe that he'd honestly not figured out why we'd have to wait, but I was having trouble doing so _and_ keeping quiet about it.

"But tomorrow's such a special night, Teddy, I thought it'd be even better if we waited," I went on, my tone never faltering. I sure as hell hoped he was about to say something to redeem himself, or maybe tomorrow _wouldn't_ be such a special night after all....

"What's so special about it?"

Oh my god. He forgot our anniversary. I want to say I expected that, but I didn't. I just figured since it was a _one-year_ one instead of something hard to remember, like a six-month anniversary or the like, that he might have remembered the milestone. Apparently not. Grr.

Seeing my face, he immediately backtracked, flailing around silently for the words to soothe me, but alas, he didn't exactly strike gold with what he settled on saying.

"Alice baby I am so sorry. I forgot it was your birthday, I swear! I would have gotten you something _very_ nice!"

"Emmett! It's not my birthday, ye big idiot, it's our anniversary!" I exclaimed exasperatedly, removing my hand from his hair and taking a step back. I was not too happy at this point, and he was just digging himself a bigger hole. Honestly, my birthday is on Halloween, and that should be easy enough to remember, seeing as how we already celebrated it this year! I dressed up, he dressed up, we both got dressed down...and played where's the Jack-O-Lantern. Oh dear. Guess I should've known that though, dressing up as a Naughty Nurse that he'd want to go for a game of human Operation. Let's just say he found the spot that makes the buzzer go "Wah!"

"Oh, yeah. I totally knew that...just testing you Ali! Or should I say Mulberry?"

"I'd rather you not, but if you want to sleep on the couch for a month, then by all means go there," I shrugged. It wasn't my problem. He could dig his own grave as deep as he desired.

"Sorry, really," he pouted, giving me that puppy-dog expression that _no one_ could resist. No one, I'm telling you, so I did the safe thing and averted my eyes away from the cuteness. Let me tell you, that was not easy to do. I kind of want to eat him all up when he does that. Not that he'd mind, obviously. In fact, he'd probably reciprocate. Gotta love that in a man...on a man. Wow, I think dating him has actually made me more dirty-minded than I was before. Trust him to pull off a feat like that.

"I may forgive you if you're good," I said. Might just forgive...I looked at his face. Dammit.

Sensing that he was now forgiven, Emmett smiled like usual, and planted a big kiss on me, pulling me back to him. "How 'bout I make it up to you right now,_ Ali_?" he whispered in my ear. I wanted to, but I needed to maintain my control, and screwing him when I was supposed to be pissed-off with his forgetful ass didn't exactly scream authority. Of course, I _could_ always scream "Authority!" but that would be a little _awkward_....

"Hey so what did they say?" Edward asked as he walked in. I was so happy at the distraction I simply couldn't rein it in.

"I love you Edward!"

"Ohhhhkay, that's nice. When did that happen?" he asked, slightly puzzled as he ran a hand through his bronze hair, just mussing it up more than it already was. At least he knew not to take my outbursts seriously. I mean, I did _love_ him, just not 'in love' with him. He's my best friend.

"You had me just by walking in the door."

"I thought it as 'You had me at hello' or something along those lines?" he commented. I giggled, and Emmett raised an eyebrow, clearly not as enamored of our friend for interrupting his seduction routine. Poor baby, I thought sarcastically. Twenty-four hours is just _so_ long for him to wait.

"Yeah, but who's traditional these days?"

"True. Anyways, what did Angela and the guys say? Are we going to be able to pull this off at all? Catch a vampire or at least kill them?" Edward wondered aloud, taking a seat on the other side of the desk. I knew he liked tradition, however. He was just so ingrained in the past with his habits that sometimes I swore he was born in a different century. Somehow I could picture him in a ruffled shirt and breeches, professing his love in poetry to some blushing young lady. She was sure to eat it all up, or at least I'd read about such things....

"They're thinking of making bullets out of something starting with 'silicon' that I can't pronounce. No Emmett," I clamped a hand over his mouth, "not as in the stuff they make breast implants out of. We're not going to be shooting fake boobies out at the undead." His mouth vibrated against my hand, and I sighed, continuing, "Yes I know how much fun you would find that, but I'd rather not die, even if it be laughing. And I'm sure Edward wouldn't like that either."

"No, not really. Anyways, bullets. Anything else? What'd you guys find out about the vampires themselves, if anything at all?" Edward deflected, raising his own eyebrow in Emmett's direction. Noticing that, I removed my hand from my boyfriend's mouth. I wasn't sure if he was used to breathing through his nose or not, so best just not to suffocate him by any means.

"They were thinking about adding some sort of laser point to these guns, because apparently the laser can cut stuff like diamonds, so maybe it'd work on the vampires. Angela found some old tribal myths about them. We learned that like that scar, they're very cold, and hard as marble, thus why we need laser and special bullets to get the job done. They seem to come out in daylight too, like Carlisle thought, and well...that's all we really know."

"So when will they have the guns up and running?"

"Angela said about a week, but they seemed pretty amped up about making them, so I'd say that it might be less than that," I guessed. Usually they were done with our gadgets before the prospective timeline. Yes, they were just _that_ good. We were so lucky to have our techs, honestly. I've no idea how we'd function without them in our lives, err careers.

"Cool. So what do we do now?"

"Sorry to break up the little conference buuuuuuut...I have a suggestion, _Edward_," Emmett spoke up. "How about you go home, get some sleep, maybe get laid, and then come back to work? I know you've not been getting much lately, or _ever_," he added the latter bit under his breath, "So maybe it'd make you more uh, ready for the assignment. Just in case you don't uh...succeed in it and all that jazz," he concluded.

"So let me get this straight, Emmett. You are saying that before I die, which may not even happen, though I do thank you for your enthusiasm," he stage-coughed at that, "that my last hooplah and priority should be getting laid? Seriously?"

"Yeah, that about sums it up."

"You do realize your girlfriend is going too?"

"Hell I'd tell her the same thing if I thought she wasn't coming back. But she's a feisty little minx, she'll survive. Plus, if she does get captured, it won't be to make a meal of her. I'm positive they'll want to keep her. I know I would if I were them," Emmett stated, and I was still trying to decide whether I should be offended by that or not. Choices, choices....

"Oh never mind." Edward sighed, and I didn't blame him. It was almost pointless arguing with Emmett. He did and said whatever he wanted to.

"So basically we're just waiting on Tech to make those weapons," I told him, "That means you can go ahead and go home for now."

"Okay. Well then, I'll see you two tomorrow...or whenever," Edward said before making his retreat out the office door. I watched him go and then eyed my boyfriend, who still looked pretty well and pleased with himself. I gave him a significant look.

"Ready to go home, baby?" he guessed correctly. I nodded.

"All righty, let's go then."

And with that we left, rode off into the non-existent sunset, and back to our lovely appartment. Oh what a life we lead....

* * *

**Author's Note: Heya. I'm hosting a contest, you can check the details on my profile; it's sure to be a LOT of fun. I'd love it if y'all had a crack at it. Anywho, tell me what you liked/didn't like about this chapter. And well...hope you enjoyed it! I had some laughs writing it for certain.**


	4. Chapter Four

**"They Don't Just Come Out At Night"**

**Chapter Four: Stalkers, Guns, and Land Rovers.**

**"Dammit, this isn't street legal, is it?' _No. '_Oh wonderful, I was hoping it wouldn't be."**

* * *

**Author's Note:**** This one is written a little weird. She starts off talking about the night and how it went, and then I'll put in a divider, and after the divider is the night leading up to her statement. Hopefully it won't be too confusing to read. It's like she's going back and telling us about it after the nights happened, if that makes sense. However, there are in between sections that are in the present. Don't worry; I put in time markers for your comprehension.**

* * *

_~2:45 AM~_

Honestly, this had to be the worst anniversary ever. And that's not really something I wanted to add to my list. I've had bad anniversaries before, isn't that enough for Fate already? Is it so much to want a little careful planning, or in Emmett's case, them actually remembering when the fricking thing is?!

One would think it wouldn't be too much, but apparently in this day and age, that notion's shit. Complete bull.

It's the one year anniversary of me dating my Teddy, and quite honestly, I _never _pictured it ending up like this. Here I am, standing back at headquarters --- we're off to a _marvelous_ start already, having to go into work in the middle of the night by the way --- drenched in blood, which I'm just sure got in my hair and is matted there... _perfect_, right? Now I'm gonna have to take one hell of a shower, not to mention a strong nightcap so I can get some sleep.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer is an inglorious bitch. How does she stay so nice looking while I end up like this? Bitch, please. That is so T.V. it is not even funny. You try slaying vampires in the real world, and see how it goes for you. Let me tell you, Mike Rowe would get a kick outta _my_ dirty job. And he can have it too, because I do not appreciate gore smattered all over my attire, even the dastardly-boring running shoes I bought recently. Clothes don't deserve that, period.

So as you can see, not only am I covered in nasty liquid, I'm pissed off and tired as hell. All I freaking wanted was dinner, maybe a movie, and then a go at it in bed. That would have satisfied my lust for a nice anniversary. However, what I ended up with has not measured up in the least. Did I mention I hate Buffy? And vampires? Why do they have to exist; it's not like we don't have enough problems in the world to deal with... seriously.

Oh, and I'm about to go into an autopsy of sorts. I _really _don't like dead bodies; they make me squeamish.

Best anniversary ever, right?

* * *

_~10:00 PM that night~_

"Hey baby, that dinner sounds amazing," he whispered in my ear, his breath tickling me slightly, "but are you sure you don't want to work up an appetite first? I think we'll be able to enjoy it more if you know, we're hungry and everything. Besides, I can't wait to see what you have under that dress of yours; I've wanted to get you out of it _all_ day."

"Oh," I decided to tease him a little bit, "but isn't it _pretty_?"

I had to hold back a laugh when he winced. I could tell what he was thinking. Pretty? Hello, mood-killer. I'm sure he was also wondering how he was going to swing the subject back over to sex. Luckily for Emmett, he was rather gifted with words when it came to several subjects: our job, sports, sex, and grilling. Though he did appreciate my rather un-eloquent grilling apron I got him for his birthday, which reads only: I fuck the chef, so keep your hands off the meat. Needless to say, the outdoors were _particularly_ thrilling that night.

"Yeah it's pretty, Ali. I suppose you don't _have_ to take it off, if that floats your boat. Wouldn't be the first time we've done it like that," Emmett added, winking suggestively at me. I grinned, totally appreciating the flashback that time. Let's just say it involves a dressing room, one smoking hot dress, and him getting various parts of his body under that skirt. What? I didn't want to take the dress off; it was hot, so sue me. It was one of the few times he had gone shopping with me, and therefore it was plenty memorable for many reasons.

"No it wouldn't, but I think first we should watch a movie. I'll let you pick..." I trailed off. An ear-to-ear grin popped onto his dimpled face, and he rushed off for the living room, ostensibly to go about choosing. He was such a kid sometimes... honestly.

I followed him a little bit later, after I'd made popcorn and grabbed drinks out of the fridge, Coke for me, Dr. Pepper for him. I even had to divvy up the popcorn into two bowls because we liked ours done up differently. I liked a bit more salt, he liked to overload on butter, which was way too gross for me to eat. We both were strange creatures of habit, and I think that's why we got along at least eighty-percent of the time.

Oh, and we both like _Fight Club, _which coincidentally enough is the movie he's chosen. I knew there was a reason I loved him....

And Brad Pitt. I love me some Brad, especially when he's fighting, and honestly, the Narrator having his apartment furnished with IKEA furniture? Classic and hilarious all in the same instance. Not to mention Helena Bonham-Carter, who is quite possibly the only woman I would swing to the other team for. She's a sassy fox, gets me every time. Emmett of course was well aware of this by now, and liked to provoke me, claiming how I just wanted a piece of that "tenacious twat," or other more ill-reputed names. It was all in joking though, but had he been inclined to speak to me like that in bed, well it wouldn't be badly recieved, let's say. I love a dirty mouth on a man.

So by the time Helena's character Marla starts coming to the semi-abandoned, fully decrepit house, he has his hand down my shirt and the other slowly creeping up my thigh, all while I'm laying on my back on top of him. Consequentially my back is subjected to feeling the rather large tent in his trousers, and it doesn't completely abhor said duty.

We continue fooling around with favourable results, two for me so far, and very close to the second for him when we are forced to pause the movie right after one of my favourite parts, the one where Marla says she hasn't been fucked like that since grade school. I love the way she says it... god I'm horny, but then like I said, we had to knock it off.

The phone starts ringing, and by the tone I know it's important. What tone, you might ask? The Mission Impossible theme, of course. Needless to say, Teddy picked the ring tones. My ringtone for when he calls me is "T.N.T.", while if I call him, he hears Whitesnake's epic tune, "Sweet Cherry Pie." Somehow I _wasn't _surprised by those choices at the time. Anyway, I jump up, secure the phone with one hand, and press the 'talk' button before holding it up to my ear.

"Jemma here," I say, using my codename.

"Hey, it's David. We have a situation."

_No really, Davie? Because whenever you call, it's just to shoot the breeze._

David is one of the "operators" who man our call center, keeping out the wrong people and also communicating with those who have a genuine mission for us. In fact, Davie's the head operator, so if it's really dire, he's the one to call Edward and me at home to let us know we're needed.

"We got a call from someone, a male for sure, but he didn't identify himself. Sounded right creepy on the phone, and he just casually let us know that _vampires_ are supposedly going to be taking down a campground full of people tonight. Or feed, as he put it. So I verified the story with the Doc, and he said there were... vampires? I thought they didn't exist?"

"They do, and believe me; both you and I wish they didn't. Carlisle's there? Okay, that's good. Ring up the techs and get an update on the weapons progress," I instructed.

"Ah Jemma, they've got some guns up and runnin... it's just they only have a limited supply of 'munitions on hand. But Angela said they did come up with a different weapon, some sort of claw thing, I wasn't really too sure what she was going on about, but that's what they told me earlier after I talked to Dr. Cullen."

"Okay. Um, thanks David. You can let them know that we'll be into headquarters as soon as we can."

"Will do."

I hung up the phone and set it back on its cradle. Still stretched out on the couch, Emmett was looking at me questioningly.

"Stupid vampires are going to feed tonight on a full campground of people. Apparently some John Doe called it in, so we'd better get moving, or well... shit's going down, and it isn't going to be pretty. The public will find out, and like Edward said, it'll cause mass chaos. It's best just to stop them so that their existence never leaks out to the general population."

"They have some _really_ bad timing," Emmett commented, frowning down at his lap. He got up from the couch and headed off somewhere into the apartment. I headed to the bedroom closet quickly, hustling to pick out clothes and shoes. Nothing seemed to be jumping out at me, and I could hear the beginning sounds of cascading water. Shower. Sigh.

I pick up something, it looks promising, and so I set it aside somewhere. I strip down quickly, and then I can't seem to recall what I wanted to wear, not with all the strategies going through my brain at the moment. It seemed an impossible mission to slay or even capture a vampire, weapons or not. And we'd have to watch our supply of ammo... this was not going to be simple.

"Fucking hell! Emmett, where is my...?" I trail off, my mind completely blank. I cannot even remember what I was looking for in the first place. _Great time to take a sabbatical_, I remark sarcastically towards my brain, my right fist clenching slightly. Teddy comes strolling into the room, all nonchalant.

"Oh good, you're already naked. Let's hit the shower babe. We can share," he says, still managing to get suggestive in light of all the sudden hoopla tonight. Seeing as how my brain is still hanging in Neuro-Margaritaville, looking for the lost shaker of cranial salt... I agree to his demand; I'll worry about the mystery piece of clothing later. As he said, I _am_ already naked. Might as well get some fun in before we get into action mode. Well, I will, he'll be in his boss mode. But whatever... semantics sha-mantics.

We quickly hop into a steaming hot shower and I feel approximately eight-and-a-half respectable inches of someone's-happy-to-see-me pressing into my back and wetness is dripping slightly down my thigh in anticipation. I'm hoping he'll just fuck me like this, but he surprises me, turning me around and scooping me up into his arms. I wrap my legs around his middle, and he's in me in one smooth motion. His hands grip my ass none-too-tenderly, and he has me backed up against the shower wall as he begins slamming into me.

I'm desperately trying to enjoy this, but the weight of what's waiting for us at work, and the fact that every second we're still here could be potentially crucial is killing the experience for me. It's not him. Damn my brain tonight, seriously. You'd think it'd be chugging along at full speed, what with the promise of thrilling danger and...

"God... oh yeah," he groans, gripping tighter onto my ass as he holds me up, thrusting harder now that he was close. It's a tough job, with us both being so slippery and all, but a horny man tends to be incredibly talented in such situations.

Two minutes and three seconds later, he lets me down, big grin on his face, and a forced one on mine. I quickly rinse off, and get out of the shower, running around in my towel as I frantically search for some functional clothes. The search only reminds me that whatever my love of clothes, I seriously need to reorganize my closet. It's times like this that little things like that always find a way to come to you in an epiphany. So for about the next few minutes, I'm toweless, dressed in bikini-cut panties, a sports bra and trainers, trying to find something I can run in if I need to. Nothing... constraining.

I settle for black trousers that are tight, but still aerodynamic, and pair them with a charcoal-coloured, long-sleeved tee. This night officially already blows.

But I mean, this is lovely... we're relegated to rushed, non-orgasmic --- on my part anyway --- shower sex. Did I mention it was rushed? I barely got any friction, and I was pretty pissed, I mean usually, Emmett's a great lover, but apparently only when he has time to do it properly. I forgive him, but still... I'm unsatisfied and that sucks. Really, really sucks. And I don't have time to take care of it myself, so I find myself unconsciously pressing my thighs together while he drives like a maniac back to headquarters, god fucking bless the speed bumps on the way. Without them, life would be a lot rougher, and not in a good way....

When we arrived, most everyone was there, bright-eyed and for some of them, coffee-mugs-in-hand. I have to say I wasn't surprised. Trust vampires to pick their time of attack to be when most people are either sleeping and/or trying to get laid on their anniversary.

No one was wasting time though. I went to meet Edward, and we got out our new guns and weapons of the cabinet in our locker room of sorts, a caffeinated Angela explaining to us that they'd also come up with a harpoon-like thing that shot a claw made of the silicon carbide. I thought it would be useful, because as Edward soon suggested, we could easily use it to snare us a vampire, by shooting a few claws through its limbs or something to that effect.

All in all, another astounding job by Tech. My only regret? That we didn't have nearly as many bullets as I would've liked to have had. But you do what you can with what you got; it's just how we were trained.

Edward and I loaded our gear into the transport, and made sure we had it all before we jumped in and set off on the task at hand.

Our vehicle was an amazing Land Rover Discovery, but there were naturally a few modifications on the engine and other parts of the S.U.V., all in the name of practicality and speed. Hooked to the top of the car we had a converted-sort of platform, whereupon you could climb up there and shoot while your partner drove, and not worry about falling off, thanks to the side walls that kept you in place. Also up there were bright spotlights going around three of the four sides, that way you could see at night, like this particular situation. Going up to the roof was a ladder hooked to the side of the Land Rover, where the second row of seat's door should be on the passenger's side. All in all, very practical for us.

But that was just the exterior of the car.

Inside we had a huge-mongous first-aid kit, courtesy of our neighbouring friendly doctor, Carlisle, which even included a portable defibrillator and some simple poison antidotes. Personally, I'd never been poisoned, but Edward had once, and it hadn't been pretty. Let's just say I got much too friendly with his anatomy in the crusade of saving his ass from toxic substances which clearly didn't agree with his body. But best friends _do_ know everything about each other, so that's just another thing checked off on the friendship list, or at least that's how I like to look at it. Not that I liked looking at it... him I mean. Agh, whatever, by now I've seen most of my coworkers naked, so it shouldn't be a big deal... right?

Hopefully.

Anyway, we two weren't the only ones heading out on this mission, there were several other people who'd been designated as "evacuators" whose job was to head off to the campground that was being targeted, and evacuate anyone staying there. I believe the excuse our organisation had come up with was that it was an unsafe zone with a high risk of landslides. That usually convinced people, so I wasn't worried about that. I was worried about what Edward and I were going to be doing, dealing with the would-be massacre perpetrators, who also happened to be undead and damn strong. Stupid vampires....

But now wasn't the time for such thoughts, it was time for action, as I was reminded when Emmett saw us off, a caravan of three cars of which Edward and I led --- he was driving --- and we finally left Headquarters to head to the scene.

I was so not enthused.

* * *

_~12:45 A.M~_

The cars branched off at the fork in the road, Edward and I heading to the left and towards the forest while the two with the evacuators headed to the right, on the campground access road to go stir up the campers to leave, posing as agents for the government, something to do with geology, I think.

Once we were in the forest though, things started getting really scary, to the point where I felt like I was on the set of a genuine vampire flick, and of course, I was the hunted.

Scary, huh?

A few bodies littered the area, mostly off to the sides, and one would think they were sleeping as the only marks that could be seen on them was a large gash at the neck. It must be what turned into those scars we saw during the autopsy Carlisle did on that guy I found at the mall, but there was no blood, no mangled limbs... they were just dead, and that was almost more frightening than if they _had _been mutilated.

The people were just dressed for camping, most wearing sweats and ratty old tee-shirts. The only thing I could be relieved about was that I spotted no children among the deceased, but you had to be prepared for such things. I very much doubted that vampires cared to leave kids alone if they were truly thirsty....

I was suddenly wishing that anyone else could have gone in my place, but on the other hand, would I subject anyone to this sort of task? No, I wouldn't.

Around there was the sound of rustling foliage, and about twenty yards in front of us, a woman was bent over a man, and I don't think she was kissing him, if you get my drift. So naturally, I was a bit concerned.

"F... fuck!" I exclaimed smartly. Edward glanced pointedly at me as if to say, _come on let's go already_, and I shook my head mildly. Grab the gun and go, Alice, I told myself. You can handle those creatures, or you'll try... no... you can do it! No negative thoughts; get yourself together!

Once I had at least half a grip on my dismal thoughts, I climbed out the passenger side window slowly, taking care to grab the side of the ladder tightly in one hand, the other holding on to the car. My gun I had already tossed up onto the roof so I could have both hands free. Once I was steady enough --- which for me didn't _feel_ perfect, but I went with it --- I swung myself out onto the exterior of the Land Rover and onto the ladder, which I climbed with a sense of urgency. I didn't like my back being exposed and unprotected first of all, and second, I wanted to get up to the platform so that I could start shooting. Behind me Edward sealed the window back up with a press of the automated button.

This was it. There was no do-over.

I ambled finally up on the platform, grabbed my gun and sank down into a shooting crouch, my eyes scanning for the nearest target, which was a feline-looking redhead off to the right side of the SUV. Her eyes flamed as bright crimson as her hair, and she seemed to me to be extremely volatile. I fired off a round of silicon carbide at her, but she pranced out of the way, throwing back her head and cackling at my miss. _Bitch_, I thought errantly as I gave it another go.

She seemed to tease me, running alongside the Land Rover. It must be giving Edward a heart attack or something, because he kept swerving away from her, and she kept prancing along, sometimes close, and then far off whenever I aimed at her. It was like the two of us were dancing, but a fatal dance at that. I was sorta hoping she'd be the casualty in this one, naturally.

We were passing through a copse of trees with low-hanging branches when the redhead grinned suddenly, as if she'd heard something encouraging. I hope she was just bluffing, for anything good for her was probably really _bad_ on my end.

My suspicions were true, of course.

Not a second or two later, there was a loud, sickening thump behind me, and cursing, I turned around to find a man's corpse had landed on the platform, and from the looks of it, was just newly dead. Have I ever mentioned I don't like dead bodies? I'll kill 'em, but I usually let Edward or someone else handle the actual uh... "clean-up" stuff. So to see that was making my stomach strike up a revolt; in other words I wanted to puke my effing guts out.

And if that wasn't freakish enough, another man leaped down from above, but _he_ was fully alive, alive as the undead are, I suppose. On top of it all, there were still flecks of blood around his lips, which were turned up in a sadistic grin that sent chills down my spine about the same time I screamed like a freaking banshee. Mystery man seemed to enjoy that, and so his smile got wider.

"You interrupted our meal," he began, "but I thought I'd still be polite. Want to share?" he added, gesturing nonchalantly at the corpse before us. I gagged in response, and then took the opportunity to raise my gun, but the vamp just reached forward and knocked it out of my hand, sending it to the corner of the platform, a little over an arm's length away. Dammit, I thought as I kept an eye on him. These fuckers don't mess around, do they?

"After you," he said, more serious this time, and his eyes narrowed a little. I stood stock still, my left foot inching to the side, my mind praying he wouldn't notice before I could reach my weapon again and kick it nearer to me, but of course, no dice. He saw what I was attempting to do.

"Fine, let's do this the hard way. Enjoy your meal, sweetling," he encouraged silkily, and I swear before I even noticed him moving, his hand was on my back, forcing me onto the floor of the platform, my head coming nearer to the neck of the dead man, and my horror growing with each motion. I was shoved forward, and my whole being cringed when my face hit the blood pooled at the base of the man's neck, feeling the grotesque texture of it getting all over the lower half of my face, nose included. Had it been deep like a pool, I am certain I would've drowned at the vampire's hand.

I struggled vainly, trying to pull my head up out of the gross blood, only to be forced down again by hands many times stronger than me as a whole. Soon it was getting harder to get a ragged breath in, so I was left with only one option, to open my mouth. A disgusting option, but at least I could somewhat breathe. The blood tasted unappetizing, metallic like putting pennies in your mouth, and the aftertaste was just as undesirable as it gets.

"Delicious," the vampire muttered above me, and by the way he'd been looking at me earlier, I sure as hell hoped he was talking about the man's blood and not mine, because it _could_ be either, and well, I didn't really want him anywhere near my jugular.

The hand that had been keeping me down yanked me back onto my feet, and still I was only half relieved when he spun me around to face him. I looked up and gulped at the lustful expression on the vamp's face, and surmised that yeah, maybe it was mine he was after, which caused a string of curses and thoughts of violence to go through my mind simultaneously.

The man bent down, and suddenly, cold lips were pressed at the side of my mouth, and slowly, his tongue tasted a little of the blood smeared there, to my utter revulsion. I yelled out again, and was silenced only when he closed over my mouth properly, and an icy tongue was shoved down my throat. My hands balled up into fists and pounded on his chest, arm... anything I could reach, which wasn't saying much thanks to my less-than-helpful height.

I stomped my feet loudly, hoping that would alert my partner that I needed back-up, and pronto. Errantly I mused about how I'd describe this to an outsider. "Well it was another tough mission, there was this bloodsucker making out with me, and I was T.E.R.R.I.F.I.E.D. and his tongue was fucking cold so I stomped my feet and..."

Ugh....

The Land Rover mercifully shuddered to a stop a few unbearable seconds later, and I heard the slam of a car door being opened and closed. Mystery!Vamp heard it too, and he pulled away, grinning down at Edward, who had his pistol already drawn, good man that he was. I did all I could to give him a clear shot, and he fired off two rounds, clipping the vamp on the shoulder, which sent him leaping out of the way, and eventually he jumped onto the nearest tree's bough and evaded any more silicone carbide bullets in his ass.

I grabbed my gun and shot a few off after him as if to warn him not to come back, but it didn't look likely.

After a tense moment of watching for any signs of movement, I looked down and gagged again at the corpse that was still on the roof with me. Edward noticed it finally after following my line of vision, and grimaced.

"So that's why you're all covered in blood," he spoke finally.

"No Edward, not at all," I responded sarcastically, eyeing my attire unhappily. I felt so gross and dirty, it was not even funny. A shower would be top-priority whenever we could get the hell out of this voodoo forest. Hopefully soon.

There was a rustling of something pushing through the greenery nearby, and both of our eyes snapped around, searching for where it was coming from. Not a second later, another red-eyed vamp stepped out from the shadows between two evergreen trees, grinning eerily at us. This one had olive-toned skin and glossy, cropped black hair, but his eyes were just as crimson as any of the others.

"Claw," Edward said tersely.

I went into action immediately, finding the harpoon launcher while the vampire played his game with us, slowly circling us and the car, coming closer with each orbit he completed. Meanwhile, I fitted a claw into place, and tried to get a good aim on the vamp. In response, his revolutions grew quicker, making it harder for me to see him, as he'd begun to blur with his speed.

"Just shoot!" my partner urged, eyeing warily the blur around us.

I sank down into my shooting stance, and watched him go around once more before I guessed at his speed, and how soon I'd have to pull the trigger. When he got to the desired point, I fired off a shot, and the claw sprang forward, and there was a high, unpleasant noise quite similar to a vehicle collision, and I knew I must've hit him. I worked quickly, securing the chain of the claw onto the ring at the corner of the platform.

Edward hopped back inside the Land Rover, and I heard the engine rev up, and then before I knew it, I was shook a little bit when Edward pressed down on the accelerator a little too eagerly and we shot forward, quickly swinging around as he turned us back the way we came. I sat down finally, still in a state of shock as I grabbed my pistol tightly in one hand, hanging onto the platform's side wall with the other.

It was a quick ride back to Headquarters....

* * *

_~2:30 A.M.~_

It was late, and so far I'd learned only one thing about our infamous guest. He thought our interrogation room was akin to a sadistic playroom. Charming.

"Well I've never really been into S & M, especially not with humans. You'd probably have to see James about that, he and Victoria..." the vampire continued in his ultra-bored tone of voice, which was slowly but surely beginning to grate on my last nerve. I begun to tap my foot impatiently. Ever since we'd hauled him in here to interrogate him, he's been annoying the hell out of me, just with his voice.

"Okay, punk, let's be straight here. We're not here for fun and games. What we want is information, and you're gonna give it to us," Emmett started off the interrogation, using his "big boss" voice, which usually did the trick, but it didn't seem to faze this bloodsucker any.

"My name is Laurent, not 'punk'," he stated primly, glaring at the lot of us. In my mind, I was wondering where he got off, insinuating none of us had any manners. I mean, Edward is so polite, it's almost overtly so! And as for myself... well I'm not a total bitch either. Can't really give a definite reading on my boyfriend though, he goes through stages of manners, ranging from goodly mama's boy to a total, macho I-don't-have-to-answer-to-you persona. Carlisle is like Edward, and well... Esme's a sweet little cougar. Ugh... flood of unpleasant memories....

"Oh I'm sorry; I didn't know we were having a getting-to-know-you session. Forgive me, but I thought you were going to spill the beans already. We could always just cut off your leg or something, unless you're feeling up to talking."

Laurent chuckled eerily, but then gave us a truly unsettling smile.

"I suppose I could tell you... something."

_He's playing games with us_, I thought instinctively, my eyes narrowing. Edward seemed to pick up on this as well; we exchanged looks while Emmett plowed on with the questioning. He asked a bunch of questions to see if what we already knew about vampires was true, and Laurent said it was. That time I don't think he was lying, because we _had_ gotten him in here; and what vampire would willingly turn themselves over to someone who wanted to get rid of them? Even to play mind games? I don't think one would... but maybe this one's more twisted than we previously thought... god, maybe they all are. What if there is no way to defeat them? What if they're just letting us think we have a chance? Fuck!

"So, how many are there in your... coven?" Emmett asked, throwing out the word casually, as if it was one he used in everyday conversation.

"Oh, I'd go with about nine at the moment, including myself. We are always looking for more, though we do have to keep it fewer than fifty, or some foreigners will have a problem with it. They are rather easily provoked, the Italians. And judging by what happened to the Southern covens last time, I do believe James can be persuaded to at least follow _that_ rule. He's no martyr and neither am I," Laurent concluded, confusing the lot of us quite considerably.

"Okay, all I got out of that is _fifty_ fucking vampires? Why so many, isn't there... damn, how many of you even exist in the world?!" Emmett cursed, I think speaking for us all.

"A good couple hundred, mostly in Italy though is where they have the numbers. Most of us are nomads, but even so, we usually stick to a particular region or as some like to call it... our territory. We are very territorial creatures, as I'm sure you can understand. We need to have the monopoly on food in our own area. Some like to fight over it, and for that, they need armies, which means numbers. Well, the covens down South got a little out of hand; the humans began to notice, so the Italians swooped in and... dealt with it."

We all looked a little aghast, and well, wouldn't anyone if they'd just heard there were _hundreds_ of undead monsters stalking the planet?

"They killed the ones in the covens," Laurent added as further explanation.

"So, how do _we_ kill them?" Edward piped up, and if you notice the wording, it was very smart of him. We could get that valuable information, while at the same time making it _seem_ like we're not just going to off Laurent as soon as we've squeezed all the knowledge out of him. That stroke of genius pretty much explains why Edward does a lot of the talking. I just like the adventure of this job, not making speeches or other such nonsense.

"Dismember them... and the standard stake through the heart, only I think you know that a wooden stake won't work in our case. Better you use the material you used for your bullets... or maybe even a laser would do it; I confess I have no idea," Laurent sighed, his dry voice still in full force.

"Well if people weren't able to use wooden stakes, then how in the hell were they able to slay vampires before now?"

"Simple," Laurent said, "_They didn't_."

"That's reassuring," I said, piping up for once in this conversation, "no wonder there's so many of you."

"I suppose that _would_ account for our numbers, yes. That and the whole army aspect. We have to keep up our population for practical reasons. We lose some in battle, mostly ineffectual newborns, which is a pity as they are stronger during their first year than at any other time."

"They are? Damn. How many in your coven are newborns?" Emmett wondered.

"Six. James, Victoria, and I are the elders, as it is."

My boyfriend promptly started to pace the sterile room, cursing under his breath, which seemed to amuse our unwanted guest more than was probably a good thing. Then the cursing turned to muttering, and apparently this made him determined, and a little impatient. He turned back to our guest.

"Where are the covens located? You said they had a general territory, so where are those territories?"

"One is up North, in Alaska. The Denali's. Our closest rivals, four women, two men, meaning two pairs of mates. It's very dangerous to deal with mates in the disposing of a coven. Mated vampires generally fight harder than any other, and you don't even want to know how vengeful they can be if you dispose of their mate. I very much doubt anyone, human or not has survived the retribution of such a thing. My coven has only one pair, and that's James and Victoria. However... James is more fickle than Victoria. For instance, he very much liked this little human right here," Laurent said, pointing one ashen finger at me. Fuck, was all I could think. Fuck no.

"Was he the bastard who was tailing her the other day?" Emmett demanded to know.

"Yes," Laurent answered. "He thought her quite delectable smelling, or her blood, I should say. Might as well be proper. He remarked to me that she'd make a beautiful vampire as well. I do think he wants to change her. It would solve both of his... dilemmas. He'd get to taste a little, which would sate him, and then she'd be around for awhile as a bonus."

"Hell no, I am not going to be some eternal pleasure slave to a sadistic vampire! That is bullshit!" I cried, totally pissed-off at this point.

"Calm down, A... Jemma," Edward said soothingly, just barely remembering to use my code name in front of Laurent, "we won't let that happen to you." He patted my shoulder fondly, and it worked... but only a little. I was still not very happy about this newest revelation.

"Oh, really? Well we are the closest coven to you, so you might want to get on that," Laurent noted, smirking. "Wouldn't want us to greet the public around here, would you?"

"No. But I think it about time you shut up," Emmett replied, nodding to Edward and I, who still had our weapons on us, just in case something went wrong during the interrogation. We advanced on the vampire and as per his instructions, quickly separated his limbs from the torso and shot a few silicon-carbide bullets where its heart should be.

"Carlisle, feel free to do the autopsy on our... guest. See what you can find out about their species, if anything. We're going home," Emmett continued.

He, Edward, and I then got our stuff put away in the weapons lockers, and I was pretty excited to get to go home. What I'd seen tonight had been terrifying. Exhilarating, yes, but very horrifying. And the whole blood thing I wasn't so fond of either. Edward seemed to harbour similar sentiments on the evening from what he'd told me while we were putting everything away.

"Thanks for having my back," I added as we shut the lockers, turning to look at him. He flashed a crooked smile like usual.

"No problem Alice, because if I didn't, Boss'd have my hide," Edward joked.

"He just might," I played along, "but then I'd rise up from the dead and kick his ass for being a jerk."

"I know you would." He chuckled.

We talked a bit more, calming the other down a little bit, then we hugged once and went our separate ways, him home to his ahem, McMansion --- Edward comes from money, the lucky schmuck, yet the inside is very spartan, which is his style --- and I met Teddy at the front door. We got our coats out of the hall closet, and he felt the need to bring a little extra lightness to the situation in true Emmett fashion.

"In other news, I was right; they would keep you as one of them. You are one dangerous little minx, Alice Brandon. Not going to turn all vampy on me, are you? I rather like my blood staying where it's needed, in my body. Especially right about... here," he said, gesturing unabashedly to where his cock would be.

And honestly, covered in blood, tired, and confused as I was, I laughed my fucking ass off.

* * *

**Author's Note #2:**** Hey-lllo folks! The link to a picture of the car Edward was driving is on my profile; just imagine it black, with a side ladder, and a modified rack on the top. The lights on it however, are there in the story. Anyhow, tell me what you liked/didn't like about this chapter. And well...hope you enjoyed it!**

**-Movie Laurent had dreadlocks. Book Laurent didn't, and so I described him as the book version.**

**-Now we know it was James following her in the mall, and not Jasper. Jasper comes in a bit later... though I won't say how or when exactly. *grins***

**This was a big, long fucker of a chapter to write (7,300 words). And even so, I love it. Maybe since I wrote so much, you'll review? -Looks innocent yet persuasive-**

**Also, P.S--- Don't believe everything Laurent says.... His capture was a bit easy... wasn't it? That alone should set off some warning bells.**


	5. Chapter Five

**"They Don't Just Come Out At Night"**

**Chapter Five: Ice Queens & The Hellish Day**

**"Nothing much happened. Some shit was said, some shit was did, but in the end, everyone just fell asleep."**

* * *

**Author's Note: The parts set in "Headquarters" will be written in 3rd person POV. The other parts are narrated by Alice as per usual.**

* * *

_~One Month Later --- Headquarters, 11 AM~_

He was incomplete. Torn apart. His parts were scattered around the room, which resembled a sparingly-furnished playroom for his old _copain_, the Marquis de Sade. But things were going according to plan. If he was one thing, it was crafty, and he'd had nearly 300 years to hone his additional talent. Not until now though had it ever been so incredibly useful.

Now he just needed to concentrate.

His mind honed down, and his vision was cast dark as his eyes shut once more. Laurent could feel a throbbing pulse in several directions across the place, but he zoned in on one at a time. He tried first for his dominant arm, the right side. Concentrating, he thought hard on pulling the pulse towards him, slowly but surely as to not alarm anyone with the sight of a severed arm speeding across a mostly-empty room, seemingly all on its own.

The undulating grew more and more palpable as his arm got closer to the stump where it belonged. When it reached the desired location, the pulse faltered slightly as the arm turned into the proper position for reattachment. A smile curved onto Laurent's decapitated head as it pushed against his shoulder, latching on. There was a warm flash of heat as the arm reattached, the cut sealing itself instantly. There, an arm. A good start, but his torso would also require a head. It would be much easier if his neck and head were reunited.

Thus he went about putting himself together again, unlike the ill-fated egg called Humpty Dumpty. Laurent had never much cared for that child's tale. But never mind that. It had been a long month, but when you are immortal, you tend to have a higher store of patience than most mortals.

And now the real fun could begin!

* * *

_~That Same Day --- The Land Rover Interior: Denali, Alaska~_

"You have no idea what kind of fucked up stuff is out there. We know, but you..." I trailed off ominously, quite enjoying the wash of colour that disappeared from our newest recruit's usually peaches-and-cream complexion. He was such a babyfaced kid, and took things way too seriously. Gullible too. Hopefully he'd survive this next phase of our war on vampires, but there was no guarantee in that. Me and Edward might not even make it, suckily enough.

Then something happened to dawn on him, but the damage had been done. I was seconds away from giggling myself silly.

"Hey! But you've only gone once!" Mike pointed out.

"That still gives them more experience than you, _Newton_!" Emmett said sternly, and by the looks of it, scared the bejeezus out of poor Mike Newton, the new agent fresh out of the NPI's training centre. We only get one newbie like every... three to five years I think, unless we're short or if someone is especially promising, then it's more frequent.

Twenty minutes of driving later we were situated at the top of a large snow bank, looking onto our target. Said target was the vampires' lair itself, a large cedar-plank house with huge bay windows and a rustic-looking decor that we could see through the windows. I cringed. Rustic was not my thing at all.

The snow bank provided us with some cover as we layed on our stomachs, passing around a set of binoculars to assess the situation. We could see some females moving around in the house, and one of them, a strawberry blonde, was out on the porch, sunbathing --- though I wondered how she thought she'd get any sort of a tan out here or with her skin --- in a shiny silver two-piece, her hair put up in a messy bun. A pair of Gucci shades covered her eyes, and she looked at peace. They must not know we were here....

After only a few minutes of our visual reconnaissance, another woman, also blonde but more of a platinum shade joined her out on the porch, dressed in cargo pants and a vee-neck sweater. At least she looked like she'd be less freezing-her-fucking-ass-off-out-here. But Blondie #2 could probably still use a nice warm jacket. Not that I cared. The temperatures probably didn't even bother vampires, what with them already being incredibly cold themselves.

"They don't have red eyes though," Edward noted on his turn. He'd been eyeing Miss Platinum, who had not been wearing sunglasses. "Hers are blue, like humans."

Well that was different, I mused. Could we be wrong somehow?

Emmett then took his turn with the binoculars, and instead of the slight confusion us other three were experiencing, he came up in a confident mood, which reeked of the typical arrogance and bravado combo that was our Boss in the midst of action. He couldn't help himself, really.

"They've got contacts in, _obviously_. See their skin? Pale as the fucking snow around here. I say we go forward. Those harpie bitches can't pull one over on _me_!"

"Oh right, I'm sure knowing that, they won't even attempt it," Edward remarked sarcastically. "They'll really be distraught now that you're here, Emmett. Our job may be even too easy, with you exercising your" he coughed, it sounding rather like 'dubious', "authority on them. They'll let us tie them up and bring them into captivity willingly."

"Really mature, Masen. I'm so glad you just graduated from pre-school, really. I was afraid you weren't going to make it, but that maturity you're showing --- impressive."

"Okay, _boys_, cool it. We have important shit to do, or have you two already forgotten? I mean me and Mike can just go ahead if you want to duke this one out, but I don't think you'll be seeing us both alive again with out some back-up on your part," I chimed in, raising a scolding eyebrow at the men. Beside me, Mike looked hopefully at Boss and Edward, as if willing them to say they'd be right behind us. I for one knew that Mike and I, if going in alone, would be dinner for the vamps. So these two had better suck it up.

"Fine, we'll stop," Emmett decided. "For now," he added under his breath. "Anyways troops, let's move in." He got up on his knees, gun in hand, and prepared to lead us down to begin the assault. Mike looked rather green in the face, but followed.

We hadn't made it more than a few feet when a loud siren called out, letting the vamps know of our intrusion. The four of us swore in perfect synchronization, and started running towards the house, guns trained on the two women on the porch.

Strawberry sat upright abruptly, whipping off her sunglasses like a weapon. Oh fuck. I think we _are_ gonna be dinner.

There was a growling noise coming closer, and three snowmobiles came hurtling over the nearest snowbank, landing smoothly where we were at, sending some loose snowpack up in air as the vehicle pulled up beside us. Two women and one man outfitted in white --- to blend in, my mind said --- parked just three feet from us, and were pointing pistols at us. Sensing that they were the ones with the upper hand, we reluctantly dropped our weapons like they were about to explode.

One of the women hopped off her snowmobile, ripped off her helmet, revealing a long mane of blonde hair and one of the most perfect faces I'd ever seen, except for the fact that she was glaring daggers at us. That part I was semi-worried about. Her stance told us that she was not one to fuck around with. She must be their leader. She was definitely scary enough for the part, however pretty of a face she had.

"Welcome to Alaska, bitches."

Oh fuck indeed.

* * *

It seemed that they weren't vampires, but that only made me feel a little bit better. They could still shoot us.

Currently we were in the Ice Queen's office, being interrogated in the guise of getting-to-know-you-bitches. The two women from the porch and the second woman from the snowmobiles were in the room with us and the leader, and the four of us were in seats across from her, hoping that we didn't mess this up. Unfortunately as _our_ leader, Emmett was going to be doing most of the talking. God help us all....

The strawberry blonde was eyeing my partner rather hungrily, and I could only hope that he reciprocated said feeling, or there might be some trouble. She looked quite flirtatious, and he'd have to tread carefully. The bitch might get clingy. There was nothing worse than a clingy chick. They were constantly jealous of other people, no matter if they had no reason to be... they still were bound to be jealous anyway.

"So, what are all your names?" Strawberry inquired, as if she genuinely did want to get to know us all.

"This is Jemma," Emmett began, pointing to me, but Ice Queen nipped that one in the bud.

"There's no need to use codenames _here_. This is a safe house."

"Fine then," he said, mostly unperturbed, "we have Alice, Edward," Strawberry's lips curved into a dangerous smile, "and Mike. You ladies may call me Emmett."

"Or Teddy," I chimed in helpfully. Emmett didn't seem to agree with me, however.

"Teddy?" Ice Queen laughed. "That's a... nice name."

"Why don't you introduce yourselves?" Boss said, glaring at me. I mimed a 'what did I do' gesture. It was unappreciated.

"Tanya," Strawberry waved pointedly at Edward, "Kate," the platinum blonde was acknowledged, "and the others are around the house. You'll meet them sometime, and they can introduce themselves. I myself am called Rosalie. You may call me Rose, but that's it. No cutesy nicknames. Okay... _Teddy_?"

Emmett smiled, completely ignoring what she called him. That alerted me. So now it was okay for _her_ to call him that? What the heck?

"Now I'm sure you're wondering we are a little... touchy about intruders. It's really quite simple. The last time we had them, it didn't go so well," Rosalie explained. "My brother Jasper was taken, abducted by the vamps. Their leader, this god-awful Hispanic bitch, took him on as her new plaything. I feel bad about it now, I do. I only let him join this organization as a field agent in the first place because he kept whining and bugging me about it. But look where that's gotten him now. God I'm such a fucking horrible sister."

"So he's a vampire now?"

"No, you dumbfuck. She wouldn't have bitten him. She's too fond of him; wants to keep him a 'weak' human so he can't escape. Duh."

"But what's the fun in having him around if she can't even do anything without like... killing him on accident?" Emmett pointed out.

"They can fuck humans. It just is a bit more complicated. Like for instance, a male vamp should _never_ fuck a human woman. She'll incubate a demon spawn. Or so I've heard anyway. I for one am not about to test that theory out. No thank you, Mr. Dracula Long-Trousers. I like 'em warm and toasty!" Predictably enough, Emmett chuckled at that. His kind of humour.

"So he's basically her fuck puppet."

"I think that's what she's trying to get at, genius," I added in. I was a little concerned about him, he seemed to be getting way too into this conversation for my liking. My eyes were constantly darting back and forth between him and Rosalie, worried. Edward, sitting on my other side, just patted my hand and gave me a look which told me I needed to calm down. I was reading too much into things. Or was I? I couldn't help but feel like I was on the right track. She was a very attractive woman, and my boyfriend was sure to notice that. Besides, like me, I think he's always had a thing for blondes. Damn.

"You could call it that," Rosalie agreed, looking disgusted. "But as much as I love my brother, I'd rather not even think about him on the job, consenting or otherwise. Definitely not the image I need stuck in my head. Anyways, it's getting late. Why don't I have the girls show you to a bedroom?"

The four of us nodded, Emmett especially enthusiastic. My suspicions heightened. He _liked_ her. I knew it. The bastard. I had to work hard to plaster a smile back on my face. Mike was the only other person in the room who looked truly happy. Irina was going to show him his room, and he was obviously carrying a flame for her. I was starting to think I was in a lair of succubi rather than women. They were all too attractive... and blonde. How was I supposed to compete with that?

We parted ways to head to our bedrooms; Tanya was showing Edward his, and Kate was taking Emmett and I to ours. Before we split up though, I managed to sidle up to Edward, who looked at me questioningly. I just smiled and stood on my toes to whisper to him.

"I really hope Strawberry!Tanya doesn't rape your innocence during the night. You might wanna sleep with one eye open."

His face turned cold. "Thank you for that, Alice. I appreciate it _so_ much," he added tersely.

"You're welcome," I grinned wider and skipped the opposite way down the hall, after the retreating forms of Kate and Emmett. Looking reluctant, Edward turned to follow his impromptu host. I was somewhat sure that I'd got him thinking. He might actually take my suggestion, or at least barricade the door. I mean, that's what _I_ would do if I were in his situation. But then again, maybe deep down inside the conundrum that is my dear friend Edward, he _wants_ to be taken advantage of. I mean, a lot of people are submissive like that.

I felt like such a bad friend, not even knowing his sexual preferences. I made a mental note to have that particular heart-to-heart at some later time. It was important, after all. I mean, I'm pretty sure I've told him mine. It's just a question of how many drinks I had that night, really. But anyways, soon it would be his turn. For now though, it was time to seduce my boyfriend in this Alaskan hellhole. New destination, new check on the list of places we've _been_.

He'll want it too. This is his sort of fun, after all. I just am indulging in it myself tonight, is all.

* * *

The room we were given is thankfully not as _rustic_ as the exterior of the house. It looks more normal with minimalist furnishings and the colour scheme is a darker tan, almost terracotta, which of course seems completely out of place here in Snow Central. However, its contrast only makes me love it more.

Boss and I are laying down in bed underneath the covers. It's toasty warm in here, which I also appreciate. It'll be easier to sleep naked then, which is how I prefer to sleep anyway. Clothes just feel uncomfortable when I'm trying to get in the right position to fall asleep. Of course Emmett's never minded that. I suspect that if he were less respectful of my feelings, he might even brag about it to friends. "Hey, my girlfriend sleeps nude!"

Some guys say stupid things like that. But whatever. I'm just focused on doing what I had decided on back in the Ice Queen's study.

It was time for the test. Depending on his answer, I was either right or wrong in thinking he had the hots for the Ice Queen. With this in mind, I snaked my hand under the covers and trailed it up his leg, brushing my fingers over his crotch quite unabashedly. He jumped immediately, a guilty sort of look on his face. I gaped.

"Don't you want to cuddle?" I asked incredulously.

"Um, kid, now's not the best time. I'm tired."

"Bullshit. And since when do you call me _kid_?!"

"Alice, I think it's time. I think maybe what would be best is for us to break up," he added, sounding so serious, so un-Emmett-like. My eyes narrowed in suspicion. I'd seen this coming, but up until right now I didn't think he actually would. But here we were.

"It's that blonde, isn't it?"

"Which blonde?" he asked sheepishly, almost smiling. I _so_ wanted to slap him.

"You know which one, damnit!"

"Oh... Rosalie?"

"No, Cinderella, Emmett. Of course that's who I meant." I snorted derisively. "You want to sleep with her, don't you?"

"Alice...."

"Don't _Alice_ me, Teddy. Get out the room, now!" I wasn't joking around, and thankfully that seemed to sink in for him. He sighed, but crawled out of the bed, put his clothes back on, and headed out the wooden door, shutting it behind him. Still in bed, I pulled the blankets back up around my chin and glared at the spot on the door where his head had been just a second ago. I was being childish, and I knew it. But _he_ had broken up with _me_!

This day was just getting better and better....

* * *

_~Headquarters, 1 PM~_

Laurent was waiting in the examination room. He could hear many different _bruits_ echoing throughout the building. There was even subtle changes in the sounds of people's footsteps. A man was stomping around above, probably pacing. There was lighter steps coming down the nearby hallway; that would be his first victim. She would not live, she wasn't useful enough. In the month he'd been "destroyed" Laurent had listened carefully, as his ears were still attached to his head and therefore his brain with the recievers that identified sounds. Over that time, he had determined the finer details in his plan, learned what the best time to attack was, and who would be useful to change and who could be done away with.

Laurent had always been a very calculating man. Smart. So it had been the natural choice for him to be sent to complete this task, both to eliminate the threat to his kind in this area, and to pick up new fledglings. James had sent him, trusting that even alone, he would succeed. Laurent would not fail. He was much too astute for failure.

He concentrated on the oncoming victim. A female medic they called Liz. It would be an understatement to say he was ready to feed. He was practically salivating with each step she came closer to the examination room where he waited. Soon, he consoled himself. It shall be not many moments longer.

The smell was delightful, akin to an English rose garden just after the rain. How Laurent missed England, and furthermore, his long-neglected mother land, France. He had not been back in such a time. He must go again soon, once he was no longer needed right at James and Victoria's side.

And here she was. The door opened, and then came the fun part. Her reaction. Laurent walked right up to her, noting the interesting faces she made. Humans could be so entertaining, he thought errantly to himself. Their terror is absolutely comical!

She stared at him, wide-eyed. He was not surprised. Of course it might be a little shock to see him all put back together again. She must think she's hallucinating, he thought happily to himself. Laurent was finding this all quite amusing, actually. But she was about to yell, he could see it in her expression. That was not a good idea on her end.

"No, cherie. You must not scream," he instructed silkily, running a skeletal finger against her jawline. "It'll give the game away. And that's no fun, is it now?"

Liz trembled violently on her feet, and only a quiet whimper came out from her chapped lips. Laurent smiled. How naive, thinking that would save her. It really was too bad. Most humans were rather têtu, stubborn upon the moment of death. Yet this one was compliant. It was like a momentary breath of fresh air.

"Now come here for a kiss. It'll only hurt for a second. I _promise_."

* * *

In a relatively short amount of time, Laurent had drained four victims, and was ready for the bigger task at hand, to change the two that were remaining in this building. They were in the same room together, and had been for all the time he had been fully awake. He had found out that they were lovers, and perhaps would mate even post-change, or at least Laurent thought so. It seemed the natural course of things. Plus, they would be useful in his coven.

And just think how the others would respond on their way home from Denali. That is, if the ones up there didn't kill them first. It is why Laurent had mentioned the Alaskans to these spies to begin with. Pitting two espionage groups against each other by fibbing and saying that one might just be comprised of Laurent's kind was sure to do the trick.

Even if they didn't kill each other, it had gotten them away for a while so Laurent could move in and change the useful ones. When the spies got back, that would be their fate too. Changed and added to James' forces. It was a foolproof plan.

But now, the doctor and nurse would have to be dealt with. The last stage of his plan in mind, Laurent opened the door to the office, ready to work his magic.

Two more vampire kisses to go....

* * *

**Author's Note: Yep. I'm hosting a contest with my cohort TheOnlyPancake. The info is on my profile, and our example one-shot is on TheOnlyPancake 's profile if you want to check that out as well. There's still plenty of time to enter. Top 3 win graphics and the 1st place winner earns a one-shot on any pairing/character they'd like, courtesy of me. **

**As always, tell me whatcha thought of this chapter. I adore feedback of any nature!**


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